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By Martin Newland. The emergency phone calls tend to come late on Fridays. Will my wife and I take a child into our home while social workers try to find longer-term solutions for them? It might be a neglected child born addicted to drugs, a child removed abruptly from home due to violence or a suspicion of abuse, or sometimes even a refugee from Syria or Afghanistan , hollow-eyed and smelling of campfires and sweat. A report on the child, outlining circumstances and history, is hastily emailed to us, and there are sometimes warnings about self-harm or even suicidal tendencies.
But experience has taught us to be open-minded. No child we have looked after measured up to the grim picture outlined in the pre-arrival reports. My wife Benedicte and I are short-term or emergency foster carers. We can take children for up to two years indeed, one of our first stayed for this period , but most of those we look after are with us on average for a couple of days to a few weeks.
Friday is a key day. With the weekend approaching, social workers struggle to find placements. The hardest thing is saying 'no' — Benedicte in particular hates to turn away a child, feeling somehow complicit in their suffering — but sometimes we have plans that cannot be cancelled. And children in care can take up most of your day and sometimes night. You need to make space for family commitments and, sometimes, emotional and physical recuperation. Still, the disconnect between what little we two can achieve and the growing scale of the children in care crisis can, at times, be difficult to accept.
Six years ago, after our training and vetting was completed but before receiving our first children, I wrote in the Mail about the reasons behind deciding to foster. Our four children had for the most part left the nest one year-old son was still at home , so we had the time.
