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Children, Mama has recorded video and audio tapes, so that you can see Mama and hear her voice. You've got to remember every day to brush your teeth, wash your hands, be good and do what you're told, eat your food, and obey your grandma and father. The philosopher Martin Heidegger described the most enlightened mode of life as "being-toward-death.
Anyone so uncouth as even to utter the non-euphemistic term for death in Chinese is apt to be greeted by a chant of "fie, fie, fie" from his listeners, who hope thus to avert tragedy. Even when a member of the family is ill, and the shadow of death looms close, it is still a topic rarely broached. Chao Ko-shih, an associate professor of nursing at National Cheng Kung Medical College in Tainan, who is known as "the mother of hospice care" for terminal cancer patients in Taiwan, points out that in the three months since a hospice for cancer patients was established at National Cheng Kung University Medical College Hospital, more than patients were treated there, but "even on their death beds less than one-tenth knew they had cancer!
Other patients privately ask doctors, "Exactly what do I have? How come the more I'm treated, the worse I get? Whatever you do, please don't tell her about my condition! In this way, doctor, patient and family keep lying to each other, all pretending that death is a long way off, unwilling or unable to unmask the final lie. When death finally comes, few leave behind instructions to their spouse or children, or even have an opportunity to say farewell.
It is as if they have gone and left not a trace behind. This being the case for patients with extended illnesses, it is all the more so for those who perish in airplane crashes or automobile accidents. In light of this regrettable state of affairs, some religious and elderly groups have started speaking out in the hope of smashing these taboos about death, advocating that people prepare a will. Perhaps traditional society was too simple, or the distinctions in family hierarchies all too clear.
