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In a statement that has sent shockwaves through interspecies political circles, leading cockroaches in the areas of food salvage, brightness-level, and the foraging sciences have warned of the potential extinction of their species in the coming decades. Cockroach group leaders and mating scientists met in Geneva to discuss a wide-ranging series of issues facing their future.

Core drilling into Twinkie reserves has revealed increased levels of atmospheric toxins while data from local dumps has suggested a decline in the mineral density of processed-food scraps being consumed, a trend that has accelerated in recent decades. Depleted sewage and garbage resources coupled with landfill loss by rising seas are expected to result in mass migrations of cockroaches, inter-apartmental political conflicts, and ultimately the complete breakdown of cockroach civilization.

Abandoning hopes of reversing environmental trends, prominent cockroaches from Silicon Valley and NASA are exploring the possibility of colonizing a small population on Mars or a nearby moon. Though void of liquid water and possibly containing toxic levels of hydrocarbon as well as intense exposure to cosmic radiation, these extra-terrestrial environments, it is believed, will be more hospitable than Earth by , offering the best chance for the long-term viability of cockroach life.

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