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Following the death of her mother when she was five, she joined her three older sisters as a boarder at Laurel Hill Convent becoming the youngest pupil at the school.
She graduated in in English and French from the newly established University College, Dublin , and she then moved to London, where she worked as a teacher for a year. In —23, she worked as a governess in Bilbao , Basque Country , in the north of Spain , where she began to write fiction.
After the success of her play Distinguished Villa in , she took to full-time writing and was awarded both the James Tait Black Prize and the Hawthornden Prize for her debut novel Without My Cloak. Many of her books deal with issues of female agency and sexuality in ways that were new and radical at the time. Throughout her life, O'Brien felt a particular affinity with Spain—while her experiences in the Basque Country inspired Mary Lavelle , she also wrote a life of the Spanish mystic Teresa of Avila, and she used the relationship between the Spanish king Philip II and Maria de Mendoza to write the anti-fascist novel That Lady.
Even though Kate O'Brien lived outside of Ireland for most of her adult life, the country played a crucial role in her creative output. Many of her novels are set in Ireland, in 'Mellick' which is her fictional name for Limerick. She lived in Roundstone in Connemara for a period in the s. She wrote a regular newspaper column for the Irish Times entitled From a Distance which captured the ambivalent relationship she had with Ireland. In her novels after , she is outspokenly critical of the conservatism of the new Irish State, particularly during the De Valera years.