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I assume it is most probably her husband since it is a marriage portrait. With my hands crossed behind my back a classic museum-style walk , I slowly pass the edge of the painting. The image I see is not the one I expected: there is a skull, a still smouldering candle blown a moment ago, and a vanitas note, saying—as I only learned later— Everything ends with death, death is the end of things.

I walk around the panel and make a short video of it. After I come back home, I obsessively play it on loop, circling around its beginning and end, life and death, bright side and dark side, the chubby, pink face of a girl, and a skull. Even though the first image disappears to reveal the other one, I played it so many times, so that they become one, inseparable thing. As if one side was visible on the other, somehow see-through. It implies that the neutral state of things is positive.

I start to wonder if the struggle will ever come to a grand finale, if I will ever see the happy end promised by the mother. Laughter became the coping mechanism of powerlessness, the feeling of lacking agency, turning the most bitter events into a joke.