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There are many different paths the betrayed partner can take. In my experience, I see a few different outcomes for the betrayed spouse cycle. There are always outliers, but these are some common patterns. First, occasionally is the spouse who stays in the marriage and also stays angry, resentful, and continues to punish their partner.
This happens less often and the true outcome is two miserable people staying in a marriage out of fear or obligation. These relationships can survive, but the betrayed partner may become highly controlling, short with their partner, and very unhappy. Or the betrayed partner will stay in the relationship but keep their emotional distance from their partner as a way to protect themselves.
This is a relationship that looks great on the outside and even pretty good if you look a little closer. With this path of recovery, I see two happy-ish people who are together in being lonely on the inside. In these relationships, there is the potential for the betrayed partner to shift back into a connected relationship, but the willingness to open themselves back up the risk of trusting has to be present. These two outcomes happen less common and take intensive treatment to change.
The betrayed partner must have some willingness to accept this unwanted addition to their life story. A couple will decide to be vulnerable, take risks, and stay in the discomfort that comes with recovery together. They realize the old marriage is gone and a new marriage has to be intentionally created. This partner uses the trauma of infidelity and changes the energy of the destruction to the energy of growth and creation.
