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It's a widely known fact that nudity improves 98 percent of all human endeavors, which is why I regularly make lunch, mow the lawn, and philatle in the buff. That 2 percent is also why I stopped doing nude lunges. Rug burn is a harsh mistress when your feet slip out from under you. Given how delightful nudity is, it should come as no surprise that many an entrepreneur has tried to capitalize on our desire to see other people's assorted goodies and floppies jostling about whilst engaging in any number of activities that are normally fully clothed and therefore sickeningly boring.

Some of these businesses are barely even worth running in a fully clothed state. Digital Vision. Remember the shoe bomber? How far do you think that joker would have gotten on a naked airplane? Actually, I don't think he got very far on a normal airplane either, if memory serves, but he'd have gotten even less far on a nudie plane.

Mmm, that's good grammar. Because flying is often more of a chore than a pleasure, with all its cramped seats and poor food choices and tiny bathrooms and SkyMall catalogs, a German airline decided enough of this shit! Or, to be more accurate, scheisse! Let's force people to sit cramped and uncomfortable next to naked strangers. I like to think that the moment in Fight Club when Brad Pitt gets up and debates which is more polite, passing ass-first or crotch-first, would have been infinitely more exciting on a nude flight.

Plus what are the odds no one is leaving a snail trail on the upholstery? For safety reasons, the flight crew must remain clothed, because If you're not sure what kind of safety concerns require a stewardess to remain clothed, well then, you've clearly never been on a nude flight when a series of very unfortunate incidents took place.