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Except you. Put some pants on , already! Like , anyway, I'm what some of you, like , call a " Stalk Parody Character", and yes, there are some totally creepy guys who—.
Oh, " Stock Parody Character"! I gotta watch out for homophobes. Wait, that's, like, something else. So if you want to, like, put someone like me in a story, you need these four totally important traits. Leave one out, and you just have some cheap knockoff of me, and that would just be, like, so tacky. Oh my God. The way I talk is, like, way important. Aside from my fabulous clothes, it's the easiest way to tell it's my hot self. You can do, like, degrees of it, but if I don't hear a hint of it, you're not truly from The Valley.
Go, like, screw yourself , impostor! I am so fashion-conscious , everybody. See what I'm wearing? Does any of it, like, clash? I don't think so! Unlike those skanky bitches on Sex and the City , I don't throw on just anything I feel like.
A dress isn't like a car. You can't just, like, turn the key and drive off. It's like the space shuttle, or something. Everything has to be, you know, totally perfect before takeoff.