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None of them were there at the start. I was sweating that colossal sweat which comes washing out of you postpartum, the sweat of childbirth. Olga Ravn on the eerie side of childbirth. I was all on my own in the room. It was so small and scribbly, like a cracked casing. The child was sleeping in the cot.
Through the window I could see a maze of low-cut hedges, and behind them in the semidarkness a hospital building identical to the one I was in. No, there was no tone in me.
There was no call. A gray and foggy light descended upon me. It was the early morning. I was thirsty. I remembered an old folktale in which a woman cuts off her breasts. Then I thought about Mutter Pappenheimer, a beggar woman in Germany, who had her breasts torn off with a pair of tongs in The hospital was still.
The hospital gown was unfathomably long; it hung down between my legs. My strange, distant feet walked. The child lay like a shadow in the cot as I opened the door. The door made a sweeping sound. Farther along the corridor I could see another woman in a hospital gown like mine; she dragged her feet, too.