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All products are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission. This I have always known. Growing up, women told me to wait and see, until I was older, until I fell in love, until I was married, until, until, until. They told me I would change my mind, and I always wondered how I could change my mind about something I so deeply knew in my bones.
She said no. I got married in I turned 30 last year. Over the past three years, I wrote a book about undocumented people around the country called The Undocumented Americans , which came out this month. One of the chapters is about undocumented men—the fathers of American citizen children—who have taken sanctuary in churches to avoid deportation.
Through one of the cases I met a family with two teenage girls, Franny and Brianna not their real names. They were wary of the media. I started talking to them, building trust between us so that I could interview them for the book. But eventually we became friends. You look like pomeranians , I told them. We started spending all our time together. We went to see their plays and took them on college visits. They slept over, we dropped them off at school at enough of a distance so as to not embarrass them with our Volvo.
We took road trips and FaceTimed them on the mornings of their birthdays to sing to them. She has never returned either to me. Are you reading this, Brianna? She brushed off their questions. What my partner and I are, really is othermothers. Patricia Hill Collins has written about how blood mothers and othermothers worked together to survive the transition from slavery to a post—Civil War rural agricultural economy.