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For the 16 years that I have learnt to live without him, this day has become for me a time of quiet remembrance. As another year elapsed without him, this year, too, I spent that evening in his room, stretched out in his armchair as he would be, listening to some of his favourite Rabindrasangeet on his music-system that has miraculously survived all these years.
And I found myself beginning one of my many imaginary conversations with my father, of a kind that could never happen when we are actually together. That evening, I wanted to move back in time from the image of that larger-than-life, handsome, elegantly dressed patriarch that I had grown up with, whose discipline and authority was as deeply embedded in our everyday lives as his capacity for care and affection. Instead, I wanted to begin a different conversation with you, Baba, about your childhood years in Dacca that you would hardly ever talk about.
I wanted to give you the time and companionship that I never did when we were living in the same home at Salt Lake, and draw out of your reticence the stories of your life that I wish I knew more about.
All we have is a single photograph to imagine you as the child who was given the daak-naam pet name , Gopal. A chubby-faced five year-old stands on a chair, against a painted backdrop of a studio, in a photograph taken around Your face is a give-away: you could not have been very happy being made to pose by standing on that chair.
