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Funny, I don't remember buying a raffle ticket. That was my reaction to the news that I was to become the proud owner of a DirecTV satellite dish. My assignment the week after Thanksgiving was to spend five days gorging myself on the offerings of the 75 sports channels the dish pulls down and to write about the experience.
A piece of cake, right? I recognized DirecTV as the service hawked in television commercials by that mildly annoying man who plays Frank Fontana on Murphy Brown. In one of the ads the pitchman--his real name is Joe Regalbuto--diagrams a football play on a big board while enthusing, "I've always wanted to do this. I am not alone. DirecTV has sold more than 1. Then you decide what programming package you want and, most important, what games you can't live without.
On Dec. Similar packages are available for college hoops and football; a full-season Major League Baseball package will be offered in the spring. This assignment appealed to my love of both sports and family. During football season, you see, I am on the road three weeks out of four, often from Wednesday through Monday.
Working at home, I could spend quality time with my wife and daughter. I could cut the lawn. I could seal the deck before the rainy season. Physical labor, I soon discovered, was out of the question. The presence of the dish on the roof, coupled with my marching orders, resulted in a kind of satellite-induced torpor that made even simple tasks difficult.