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Finding out that your partner has been unfaithful can hit you like a ton of bricks. Your marriage may be thrown into a state of crisis that may destroy it. It is natural to want to know why your partner cheated, but there is rarely a simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in your marriage, it could relate to something in your partner's past, or it could be totally unrelated to you or to your marriage. No matter the cause, you'll have a lot of complicated feelings to sort through, and a lot to think about as you decide how to move forward.
These eight tips can help you cope with the aftermath of betrayal. Shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression, and confusion are normal. You will likely feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster for a while. Don't expect the mixture of feelings and the mistrust to go away even if you're trying to forgive your partner and repair your marriage. Your marriage has changed and it is natural to grieve the relationship you once had. We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain.
Find out which option is the best for you. Being betrayed by your partner can induce rage. In your furious state, your first instinct may be to punish your mate by trash-talking him to friends or worse, on social media , or think about having an affair yourself to get even. You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of actions, but ultimately they can work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving on, alone or together.
Think before you tell your family, as well. They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do—leave or stay. But nobody else really understands what goes on in another person's marriage. While you are pondering how you're going to proceed, it's best to keep the details private.