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As a mom with 3 kids under the age of 10, I feel like the word "no" has become my default answer to everything , whether to my kids no , you can't have candy for breakfast! No has become too easy. I needed to figure out how to start saying yes again, so I jumped at the chance to do something way outside my comfort zone: a trip to Desire, a clothing optional, swinger-friendly resort in Riviera Maya, Mexico.

In other words: Yes to nudity, yes to sex, yes to confronting discomfort. I was terrified. My husband and I have been together for 17 years and have always had a very healthy sex life. But wild nights at strip clubs in our 20s with double lap dances have morphed into running kids back and forth between school and sports clubs. Debauchery and going to places like Amsterdam have turned into early nights with books and wine. We have excuses: 3 kids.

Work obligations. Once we got inside the gates of Desire how metaphorical that sounds — yet, it's so literal we expected everyone to be nude, but no one was. At least not in the lobby. They offered us champagne, chocolate, and hats we would never be able to wear :"Desire: Let Your Imagination Run Wild. The champagne softened the edges and we quickly found ourselves to be the only people clothed while playing beer pong.

And so stripped to our bathing suits, trying to sink ping pong balls into the red solo cups of a naked couple. We won. Our prize was another set of hats: International Swingers hats. We were from the northeast — a place largely unrepresented at Desire. Most guests were from the midwest and south, but we quickly learned they didn't want to talk to much about mundane personal stuff, even though everyone was nice and funny and oh-so-very drunk.